I Have a new blog

hey guys, long time no post.


I made a new blog


or maybe


i don’t know which one works because i am wordpress illiterate. anyways there probably wont be any stories on this one. its more going to document some travel and training and competing in bobsled. but hopefully i can make it a bit more exciting than that. If it seems like some try hard bullshit that is because it is. just like our glorious leader Butkiss krom i have tried to turn over a new leaf. and leave the mope for good. although sometimes it creeps in.

also this is so i can can make a gofundme and not feel like a total mooch.

much luv.






charlie francis

currently reading “the Charlie Francis training system” its great, i recommend it. will post a full review maybe. plan on picking up speed trap too.


also reading DFW’s “infinite jest” which is immense. but is non training related. ill post a review when i finally finish it in like a year



Rejected Idea


*I had a diagram but it wouldn’t work so you will have to use your imagination. I hope the foot notes work. also this one is pretty fucking dumb

The world was flat, for the longest time, until we had to go and make it round. And time was straight and fast, once: like an arrow or a river of piss streaming from god’s dick. But we went and took time and bent that back ‘round on its self and made it round too.

There were two people, a boy and a girl, on their third or fourth date. And having fucked adequately on the 2nd date there was no pretense between them. Their companionship easy and comfortable. The boy, unfortunately, found himself falling in love with this girl, as boys do. It is unfortunate because she is killed in a home invasion one night when he is playing squash with some guys from work.

The killer took little: a six pack of beer, some change from the jar that was for the laundromat. There was nothing else of value except for a life. The killer took that too.

The boy, whose name was john, went home from squash and showered, paying special attention to his genitals. Later, as they had planned, john would message the girl, whose name was Kim. She never answered, of course, because she was dead (dying actually, at this point). John waited for a few hours for Kim’s response, and when it never came he said to himself: “She was just a slut.” Then he jerked off and went to bed. When he never heard from Kim again, john chalked the whole think up to a fizzled relationship with a girl who was “just a slut.” [1]

Kim has left the timeplane that john, and everyone else on john’s timeplane exist on, and jumped to a new and (relatively) skewed timeplane. These jumps also are conceptual, as in conception: right at the moment of her death, Kim was conceived on another timeplane. There might be a john on this timeplane, there might not, and he might arrive on it later.[2],[3]

For most people each new time plane is unique in such a way that there will never be the familiarity of “I have been here done that” not for john, john is an anomaly. He is a node, doomed to repeat the same plane for all “eternity.”

It is hard to talk about time in a nonlinear fashion, in truth all Johns and Kim’s are on their timeplane simultaneously[4]. If all of Kim’s timeplanes superimposed on each other would look like an image of static. Not for john though. He is an anomaly, his image would look like a photo of a river taken with a long exposure. But for ease of discussion time will be discussed in a linear fashion

Poor John, doomed to live the same life infinite times. Free will exists, in the same way that a swimmer might navigate a furious river. In the end they will be washed down stream regardless of the choices they make.

After his 10100 repetition of living the same life john starts to get some serious déjà vu. Most people don’t get this, again, they are bouncing around in different lives on different worlds and eras and all that jazz. Not john. His life is the same and it’s slowly eroding the walls of his furious river.

One john starts to make a machine.[5] A machine to see the invisible spectrum of time. Obviously this fails. (Meanwhile[6]  one Kim has met a Steve, and his happily married with kids, oblivious that one of her selves has been brutally murdered for some laundry[7] change on john’s recurrent timeplane).

But tinkering has always been the most effective method of progress. And tiny little bits on knowledge are imparted on the infinite other John’s also building this time observation device. This is prototyping on a massive scale

Observation is an interesting thing. Things change simply by being observed: electrons passing through a double slit, or a human, or the hair on the nape of a neck. Thus it would follow that time also changes when it’s being observed.

Oh look! A john has done it, he has made a time observation device. He turns it on! Oops he has kicked himself (and all other johns, simultaneously) out of time.  And now time, being observed, doesn’t act in such an infinite manner. Essentially it stops being a constantly changing spectrum and becomes fixed. And everyone and everything is frozen in time appearing to john like nothing more than a rainbow.

[1] In fact Kim was looking forward to spending the night with John and was expecting it to be filled with sex, passion, and fun. Therefore she had also payed special attention to her genitals.

[2] Unlikely that john exists or will show up as there are infinite planes and infinite angles of skew along infinite dimensions (i.e.: a very big infinite amount of timeplanes.)

[3] For ease of discussion time is being considered linear here.

[4] In fact timplanes are part of an even bigger wave system. Similar to visible light on the electromagnetic spectrum.

[5] This may seem startling, but there are an infinite number of johns experiencing deprivating déjà vu. This leads to the idea that perhaps time is not a “one time only linear thing”

[6] Authors joke

[7] In fact the laundry problem has long since been solved on this timeplane

space jizz

I wake out of hyper sleep having crossed the universe timelessly. I am truly alone now. Before it was just an idea, a concept. But now its fact, its truth. There is no one here but me.

In the beginning we tried to find planets. And, in the nature of our forbearers we set out with flags and ships and found planets and settled on them and it was done. But we ran out. It seems that the universe, in all its infinity was not big enough for all of us. God’s cosmic joke.

There must have been times when humanity thought “this is the end” but I do not think that was ever truly the case. During the great plagues and even when we were pushed out to the stars we always had options for survival: cull the herd, or move, or weather the storm. But this is the end, now, truly. I am one of the few hundred that is left, humanity’s cosmic sperm ejaculated out to fertilize the remaining suns.

I hope that in me is the stuff of gods. What if don’t have what it takes to make a planet of prosperity? Or what if I build evil, which is surely worse than no humanity at all?

This sun seems nice though, and in millions of years it will grow into a viable star, and in millions of years the cosmic dust will gather to my gravity and I will implode and my stuff will mix with all these cosmic ingredients to from life. I am playing god, but it’s best to be humble.

If this doesn’t work then this is the end, but if it does I hope that whatever happens the creatures are happy, and kind, and love one another and love living on the planet that I am for them.